Although she meant to keep herself as stiff as possible she found herself softening to him. His lips were soft and warm, and that surprised her even more. She tried to pull back and say something, but then she felt the wet tip of his tongue slip between her lips. His hand slipped to her back holding her to him as if not wanting for that moment to stop.
It was her first kiss relived in a much more glorious moment in time. The stars were before her eyes again. Had she gone so long without knowing this kind of tenderness from a man that she forgot how to feel passion? She felt as if she was watching the two of them kiss. Desire to desire. They had both wanted this for a long while now and they finally were able to do it.
She was the one that broke of the kiss. Her legs were giving way from underneath her. Her heart was racing as she touched her fingers to her lips. She looked down, away from him, and her eyes were about to show tears, but she held them back. “Oh my God,” she said picking up her backpack from the table.
“What?” she heard him ask without looking at him.
“I have to go,” she said pushing her way out of the in-house doors. She stopped herself from running down the hall.
"God help me for my sin." She said to herself. "Why did I have to want it so bad that I didn’t listen to common sense?" She walked into the classroom and sat in a corner in front of the back door. "I felt alive inside again." She thought as a tear rolled down her eye. "Am I in love with him? Do I love him?" She found herself asking. Her finally answer was, “Probably not. I bet I am just chasing after a dream again.”
“I wanted to talk to you about this afternoon,” she said as they turned the corner of the hall to talk.
“You feel guilty about it?” he said crossing his arms over his chest.
“No… Yes… A little, but its not about the guilty thing,” she said shaking her head.
“Yeah…” he said looking behind the corner to make sure no one was coming down the hall.
“I didn’t mean to run from you. I just haven’t been kissed like that in a long time.” She shuffled on her feet for a second. “That kiss meant more than I thought it would. A lot more and I guess I just wanted you to know.”
She heard people coming down the hall and recognized one voice and as he turned to see who was coming she turned and fast walked towards that simple classroom. She felt it was a sanctuary for her.
All that night she kept her distance until she went home. Her tears rolled off her cheeks heavily that night. She knew what she had done and she was being punished enough for the deed. People say that self-punishment was worse then being punished by others. She had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend… knowing that was her last thought before she went to sleep and the last tear rolled down her face.
The next day, she meet him at the corridor and said "I love you, but I love my boyfriend more than I love you." No one will understand this beside herself.
“A Secret Only The Heart Will Know.”
