Interviewer: There are 500 bricks on a plane. You drop one outside. How many are left?
Applicant: That's easy, 499
Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge.
Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Interviewer: It's lion's birthday, all the animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.
Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.
Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died, Why?
Applicant: Err....I guess she drowned?
Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick. You may leave now.
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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads :
Cheese Sandwich : - $1.50
Chicken Sandwich : - $2.50
Hand Job : - $10.00.
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes ?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs ?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am"
The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
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A young boy Talking To A Ghost..
BOY: Why Did You Die … ? ?
GHOST: I Was Hit By A Car Trying To Save Someone
BOY: Why?
GHOST: Because I Don’t Want Her To Get Hurt.
BOY: You Really Love Her A Lot Because You’ve sacrificed Your own Life Just For Her. May be She’s Sad Now, Because of Your Death.
GHOST: No. She’s Very Happy Because The one That I Saved Is The Man Whom She Loves.....
Now tell me, what will you call this love?
After Few days,
Son: Are ghosts real?
Dad: Of course not.
Son: But the maid said they are.
Dad: Son pack your bags....we don't have a maid
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Teacher said to the class"Children, tomorrow I would like u to give me an example of a development that is currently being built near your home, and what is d advantage of this new development.
At the end of the class, teacher asks all the little girls to remain behind for 5 mins.
Teacher said: "Young ladies, I have received numerous complaints from your parents concerning Little Johnny's crude remarks. It is very likely that tomorrow he is going to say something dirty, that is why I am asking you all to avoid any further problems that if he says anything that appears rude, u all will get up and leave the classroom. Everybody agreed to this plan.
Next day - Time for the assignment...
Anita: Near my home, a supermarket is being built... Now my mommy doesn't have to walk so far to get bread and milk"
Teacher: "Very good!
Suzie: Near my home, they are building a furniture factory... My daddy is a carpenter and this permits him to work near home...
Teacher: "Excellent,
At this point, little Johnny's hand shoots up and the Teacher asks: "Oh heavens, Johnny tell me what new development is being built near your home.
Little Johnny: Near my home, they are building a brothel. As planned, all the young ladies get up and proceed to leave.... Little Johnny says, "Hey relax...sluts" it hasn't opened yet!...its still under construction!
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Three men : a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, found themselves standing before the Gates of Heaven.
St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Heaven is now overcrowded. St Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.
If anyone of you can ask me a question which I cannot answer or don't know, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven.
If not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct The philosopher disappeared and went to hell.
The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!"
With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared.
The mathematician read it and agreed it was correct.
The mathematician also went to hell.
The idiot stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"
The Devil brought forward a chair.
"Drill 7 holes on the seat."
The Devil did just that.
The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from ?"
The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole."
The idiot went to Heaven.
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A student failed in law & decided to make a deal with professor.
Sir, do you know everything about law?
Prof: Yes.
Student: If you can answer this question, i will accept my final marks, if you cant, you have to give me "A" Grade.
Professor agreed.
Boy asked: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"
Prof thought about it for hours & pondered no answer.
He had to finally give up as he really did not know.
He gave the boy his "A" Grade.
The following day, professor asked same question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.
He asked one student.
He answered: Sir, you are 65, married to 28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical.
Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal.
Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet you have given him an "A" Grade, This is neither logical nor legal.
The professor collapsed...
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GOD in heaven said to a 9 month baby u r going to born on earth tomorrow..
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Baby cried & asked how I will talk with people
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God:" I had already sent an angel 2 earth she will teach You
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Child: how will i pray 2 You.
God:" The angel will teach you,
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child:" how will i learn good words,
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God:" angel will teach you
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child:" if i suffer from sorrow ??
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God:" angel will be their to listen..
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child:" how do i find that angel??
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God:" Its very simple!
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Usually people call that Angel as..
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"MOTHER"
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Hit Share, For this post only If You love your Mom..
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