Doctor, Clergyman and Lawyer


As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.

He called for the three men he trusted most his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, “I’m going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me.”

All three agreed to do this and were given the money.

At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside.

While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said “I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin.”

The physician then said, “Well, since we’re confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn’t put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn’t afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that.”

The lawyer then said, “I’m ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.”
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  • GAY Test.. Must Try This


    Must Try This GAY Test..

    Do this test to see if have a gay streak. Do it quickly and go on your first answer :

    1. Think of a country beginning with ‘D’.

    2. Take the second letter of that country and think of an animal.

    3. Think of the color of that animal.

    As long as you weren’t thinking of a grey elephant from Denmark, you are straight…
     

    OR

    Try this Other One.. 
     
    Lord Infamous asked his doctor if there was a test to see to help him determine if he was gay.

    The doctor said, "Yes, there is. Please pull down your pants."

    Lord infamous pulled down his pants, the doctor grabbed his testicles and told him to say 55. The man said "55."

    The doctor then grabbed the man's penis and told him to say 55. Lord infamous said "55".

    The doctor then told the man to turn around, and putting a finger in the man's anus he once again told him to say 55.

    Lord infamous said, "1...2...3..."

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  • Funniest Salesman Ever







    The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

    Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

    “Very good,” said the teacher.

    Little Jenny was next: “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”

    “Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher.

    Eventually, it was Little Mr.Bean’s turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Mr.Bean walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk.

    “$2,467,” he said.

    “$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

    “Toothbrushes,” said Little Mr.Bean.

    “Toothbrushes,” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

    “I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Mr.Bean, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like shit!” Then I would say, “It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”


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  • Women Always Women.. lolzzzzzzzz


    Women chatting in office..

    Woman 1:" I had a fine evening, how was yours.. ??

    Woman 2:" It was a disaster.. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep.. How was yours.. ??

    Woman 1:" Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner.. After dinner we walked for an hour.. When we came home he lit the candles around the house..It was like a fairy tale!

    At the same time, their husbands are talking at work..
     

    Husband 1:" How was your evening.. ??

    Husband 2:" Great.. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. What about you ??

    Husband 1:" It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that i didn't had money left for a cab.

    We walked home which took an hour and when we got home i remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house!!

    Moral:" Presentation does matter.. No matter what the reality is..!!"
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  • Heart Touching Conversation.. Must Read..



    Girl: I miss you..
    Boy: And so?
    Girl: I really did.
    Boy: ok.
    Girl: I’m sorry.
    Boy: What for?
    Girl: For ignoring
    your efforts to communicate with me.
    Boy: Its OK..
    I got used to it,
    then I got tired,
    so I stopped trying and started forgetting...
    Girl: I..
    Girl: I… tried to forget about you,  you see...  we can never be…
    Boy: its OK...
    Girl: Why is it so OK?
    Boy: I got used to days hoping you’d be back... but, then you never did.. I started facing reality,
    and started to get a move on..
    Girl: Wait… am I too late?
    Boy: Too late for what?
    Girl: To court you?
    Boy: You know, I’ve always wanted to hear that from you... Back then, a years ago...
    But…I got used to only wishing for it.. then realized it would never happen, so I stopped hoping...
    Girl: I’m really sorry, but dont worry, this time, I will make your wishes come true...
    BOY: That's not possible.. I have got someone in ma life...
    Girl: Its great for you.. Who is she?
    When I'll meet her?
    BOY: She doesn't want to meet you any day..
    GIRL: Why?
    What I have done to her?
    BOY: She doesn't want to meet you any day..
    GIRL: Why?
    What I have done to her?
    BOY: (slowly replied)- She just don't wanna meet the one who did hurt me the most.. Its my turn to say sorry.. Time got into me... You’ve broken my heart already. I cant risk experiencing that again.. Thank you anyway. For communicating with me after a years of silence.. She kept her head down and went silently....

    After she left The  Boy out her picture kept in his wallet-Some tears rolled down when he whispered -'Its still you'....
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  • Its Funny.. Must Read..


    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

    Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen.

    "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!

    TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?


    They're going 2 STICK! Careful.. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!

    You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?

    Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

    The wife stared at him. "What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

    The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
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  • man lies because


    One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"  The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

    "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

    The woodcutter replied, "No."

    The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

    Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

    The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

    The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

    The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happily.

    One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

    The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

    "Yes," cried the woodcutter.

    The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!"

    The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say 'no' to her, You will thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes,' and then all three will be given to me. But Lord, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wives, so *that's* why I said yes this time."

    The moral of the story is whenever a man lies it is for an honorable and useful reason !!
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