Because
I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat
hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the AAA is not an
option. I will win.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't
running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I
know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to
the other, "I used to be able to fix
these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I
wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers, as a
form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a
cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in
bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for
you, this is no problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied
upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I
cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I
know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of
our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite
evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair
person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a
man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch
TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole program looking
for it...though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator...(applies to engineers mainly).
Because I'm a man,
there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is
always either sex, hunting, sex, cars, sex, tractors, sex, fishing, sex,
sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't
ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or
have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think
about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day
is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something
for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me
if I liked the film. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I
didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will
certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You
look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is,
after all, the year 2013, I will share equally in the housework. You
just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the
dishes, and I'll do the rest.... like wandering around in the garden
with a beer, wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
