Why Women are special.. Must read

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She emptied a waste basket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her bag. Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,
"I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish, then made sure the doors were locked.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, and had a brief conversation with one kid who is still up doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day. Said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. about that time, Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.

"I'm going to bed." And he did... without another thought.

Anything Extraordinary Here?

Share this to phenomenal women today... they' ll love you for it!

And Forward this to as many men as you can so that they know why women are so special......!!!

Too Funny.. Must Read

Lipstick On The Mirror

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem.

A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of the mirrors.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Very Very Funny.. Must Read

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow!

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.

Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!

Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened.

"You idiot, I meant my dress size."

The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

Very Funny 4 Married Guys

Four married guys went fishing. 

After an hour or so, the following conversation took place:

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy: "That's nothing! I had to promise my wife I'd build her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I'll remodel the kitchen for her." They continued to fish, until they realized the fourth guy had not said a word. So they asked him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off the clock, gave my wife a nudge and said,

 "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear a sweater."

Sad But Funny... Read & Share

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party.

In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. 

His wife came up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.

Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little fun.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, “Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.”

Then she asked, “Did you dance much?”

He replied, “I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the then and played poker all evening.

But I’ll tell you… the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!”

Too Funny.. Must Read

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.

She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED! MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell.

Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair.

The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!"

The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"

Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently.

"Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

So Funny Phone Conversation.. Must Read

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.

Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,he dialed the employee's cell phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman"

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," the whisper answered.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter." answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle. "ME.!!

Its Too Funny.. Must Read

Arthur is 90 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.

One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf.

My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.”

His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea.

As they sit down she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try.”

“That’s no good” sighs Arthur, “your brother’s a hundred and three. He can’t help.”

“He may be a hundred and three”, says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law.

He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law and says, “Did you see the ball?”

“Of course I did!” replied the brother-in-law. “I have perfect eyesight”.

“Where did it go?” says Arthur.

“I don’t remember.”

Very Very Very Funny.. Must Read

Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.

Father : That's great son. Who is she?

Son : It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter.

Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.

The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later :

Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!

Father : That's great son. Who is she?

Son : It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter.

Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister.

This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.

Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!

The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..!!

This is Awesome.. Must Read

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.

I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs" I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart."

I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff.

It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Very Funny Old Ladies

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom.

Lady 1: Where'd you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, the first lady hobbled into the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a package of condoms.

The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, in her 80s), but politely asked what brand she preferred.

"Doesn't matter," she replied, "as long as it fits a Camel."

keep sharing it